Refusing permission politely | Effective Communication
Let us start with a conversation.
Son: Dad, my friend will have a birthday party tonight. Can I go there?
Father: I’d prefer if you don’t go because you have an exam tomorrow morning. It’s better if you study your lessons instead.
Son: But I promise to go home early, dad.
Father: I’m sorry but I will not allow you to go to the party. Maybe next time.
Son: It’s alright, dad. May I borrow your laptop for a while?
Father: No, but you may use it if you study your lessons.
Son: Sure, dad. Thanks.
It doesn’t sound good when we say ‘No’ to someone. However, we still have to learn to say it depending on the situation. We might use it when refusing or denying something. In a casual situation, we can respond ‘No’ directly like when a friend or a brother or sister asks a favor. While we can make it formal when talking with parents and work colleagues. Commonly we say, “No, you may not!” or “No, you can’t!” But it sounds totally negative. We can use it to respond like,
“I’m sorry but that’s not possible.”
“Unfortunately I have to say no for now.”
“I would love to but…”
“I’d prefer if you don’t…”
Sometimes, it’s better to offer something to help someone. Let’s read the conversation.
Kaye: Hi, Angel! May I borrow your English book?
Angel: I’m sorry I can’t let you borrow my book for I also have to study for our quiz, but we can study together instead.
Kaye: That’s great. Thank you.
Angel: You’re welcome.
Kaye: Oh I forgot that my mom asked me to buy something.
Angel: I’m sorry if you have to go. How about I send pictures of the pages that you need to study?
Kaye: Sure, thank you so much.
Being kind and polite when refusing permission is important to avoid offending someone. You may practice how to offer alternative help instead if you really have to say ‘no’ to their favor. This will result in positive feedback from someone seeking help from you.
