English Jokes

Ole and The Pope

Ole was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Ole, how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Ole and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and, sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Ole! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Ole’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Ole that he thinks Ole’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Ole says. “President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes,” Ole says. “I know him.” His boss states, “If you can prove that you know him I’ll fly out to Washington to see him.” And off they go.

At the White House, President Bush spots Ole on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Ole, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Ole, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Ole. “I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

Again the unconvinced boss flies them off to Rome. Ole and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Ole says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs, and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later, Ole emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

By the time Ole returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Ole asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, ‘Who’s that on the balcony with Ole?’ “

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